Baby Needs and more..

I’m not sure how many women out there who are like me and have never had a baby shower but I’m sure there are some out there! With my first, my husband and I lived clear across the country from most of our family and friends, in Colorado. We we’re military and planning events such as that are hard to do. I certainly did not expect any of my family or his to travel for just a baby shower. And while we had plenty of friends at our military base, the men we’re deployed during the time that a baby shower would have taken place. I know typically baby showers are mainly women oriented but for us and our group, when there is a baby shower, everyone comes. Men, babies, teenagers, they all come. Not just the ladies.

So a baby shower did not happen. More like, I had a baby shower for the entire 9 months of my pregnancy plus a few months after. I set up a baby registry, not really for anyone to buy anything from but more so for what I thought we would need. My father in law sent us a check a few weeks before we found out the gender of our first and I went shopping. I did not spend even nearly half of it but I got a swing, bottles, and what I thought we’re pretty basic essentials. Let me tell you, I didn’t need even half of what I bought, but I thought I did. I used the other half to pay for a plane ticket to Ohio because around that same time my Mother In Law passed away. We didn’t lack in what we needed because of that expense and I would have spent the entire check on that trip if I had to.

Family sent gifts, friends bought gifts and handy downs we’re of a great abundance. I stalked ebay for some great clothing finds and we we’re set. I had all the ‘basics’ a new Mom thinks she needs. Towels, burp clothes, diaper stockpile, clothing (LOADS OF CLOTHING), swing, bouncer, bathing essentials, bottles, bottle drying rack, bottle brush, wash clothes, diapering essentials (ointments, wipes, etc.), fever reducers, nail clippers, hair brush, bassinet etc. Looking back on it, quite a few of those things, I did not need. My Mother and Father did a lot of the high expense purchases. My Mother came out shortly after baby V was born and bought our first crib as well as a living room furniture set. The furniture set was not needed but very much appreciated. We we’re using a very old, torn apart couch, with no intentions of buying anything new anytime soon.

With my second, she lived off of handy downs. Thankfully baby V and A we’re born in the same season and clothing coincided for both of them. I did buy her a few new outfits as did others but that was it. We had since loaned out our swing and our bouncie seat had seen its final day but we we’re given a swing by another friend and we bought a new bouncie seat. We we’re also given another bassinet so we had one for upstairs and downstairs, which was a nice luxury. With her my Parent’s bought us a single electric medela breast pump as I breastfed her. This was also a very nice commodity. We also replaced the car seat, right now, I don’t exactly remember why but we upgraded and it’s about to get it’s final use with our third baby.

With this one we are having to buy more clothes but Ebay is coming in handy. This one is a summer baby opposed to being a winter baby like our first two children. She’ll eventually move into the handy downs as some wikk work for her but not right away (such as the 0-3 month winter outfits will work for fall). I purchased a lot of 30 summer infant items on ebay and that would be about all we need for summer clothes for baby #3. I have a lot of left over towels, wash clothes, and all baby linens you can think of so those are definitely not needed and won’t be. We do have to buy a swing as we weren’t expecting to have a 3rd child for at least two more years and we didn’t want to keep the clutter. As for the car seat as a whole we don’t need a new one. We did purchase a few replacement parts through Graco for $60.00 opposed to getting an identical car seat for $150.00 again. But I preferred spending the $60.00 over finding a used car seat on craigslist or ebay that I don’t know the history of. We aren’t jumping and buying a crib, we may be able to still use the one we have, it still needs to be inspected and cleaned up but we have quite a few months (after baby is born) to decide whether we need a new/used one or can still use the one we have.

We are buying new bottles, I never reused my bottles with my previous two and I’m not doing so now. We’ve purchased one pack and need maybe two more packs and we’ll be good to go. We are still in the great debate of breastfeeding or formula feeding. If I breastfeed, we’ll most like pump exclusively but I’ll need a much stronger pump opposed to the one we have. So I’ve been researching renting a hospital grade pump for the first 2-3 months and then switching to the pump I currently own. I have a feeling renting a pump will be a lot cheaper than buying a can (or two!) of formula every week . We’re also in the great debate of cloth diapers. If we do go cloth, which we have never done before, I’d like to make them myself. Of course, this means me buying a sewing machine. I’ve sewn enough in the past to have a general idea but I know it will take a few tries to get them just right. My grandmother has offered to make them for us but I think I would like to make a little fancier of diapers than she has in mind. She’s thinking along the lines of what her Mother use to sew for her and her brothers. Who knows, I may just go with the very basics and let my Grandmother have at it.

So far we have spent about $130.00 on this baby and we’re planning about $300.00 more. We are borrowing a pack n play from my Mother for downstairs use. It’s a lot more studier than our second bassinet for having two toddlers running around like crazy. And really, all we need now is to figure out how we are going to diaper, buy the last two sets of bottles, the swing (and maybe bouncer) and we’re good to go.

It’s nice to have the majority of the things you need and thought you needed with your first. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have listened to a lot of the first time Mother’s who we’re also convinced that all this high tech merchandise was a necessity. And while a lot of their suggestions, such as a mattress cover, we’re very much appreciated, I think if I had known, I would have been more of a minimalist instead of buying everything that the stores claim a baby need. In my opinion you only need the following for the start of a babies life:

1. A feeding system. Either bottles and formula or a breast pump, bags and pads (even pads aren’t 100% necessary). Once you decide on the way you plan to feed your child, you can focus on just one rather than grabbing it all. If your breast feeding, they often don’t suggest introducing a bottle until at least 6 weeks but if you plan to exclusively pump or are a working Mom, you’ll need to buy these and introduce from the beginning or earlier.
2. Diapering system. Cloth or disposable? Either way, you can start your purchase for these items as soon as you hit the second trimester or earlier. I don’t usually buy anything until I hit about 14 weeks because of the risk of miscarriage. Cloth is definitely more economical and in the long run more budget friendly. There are a ton of choices out there but there are also a lot of guides to help get you started. If you are going disposable, stock up on all different sizes and buy them when there is a good deal. Don’t buy just Newborn or Premie size diapers. If your baby is in those sizes, it most likely won’t be for long if you delivered at full term. Stock up on 1s, 2s, 3s etc.
3. Receiving blankets/Burp Clothes - I’m not suggesting big fluffy warm blankets for a few reasons. Most likely, someone will give you some, you’ll have blankets around the house that will work for over the top of the car seat if it’s chilly out, and the risk of SIDS. Doctors don’t suggest allowing a baby to sleep with an actual blanket until the baby can roll over. A receiving blanket serves a lot of purposes though. You can wrap them up like a little burrito, if they like it, works great to change a diaper on and can even substitute as a burp cloth. We have a ton of these but I think you would only need about 5 depending on how often you do laundry and how quick things get dirty.
4. Car Seat – This should be your biggest investment. Research. Research. Research. I personally love the Graco Snug Ride and we paid an easy $150.00 for that car seat. Though it’s going to get it’s 2nd use now and definitely has already paid itself off. If something goes wrong with the car seat or you need a new part, you can buy a new part directly through Graco for the fraction of the cost of buying a new seat. I’ve had no complaints with this seat but every Parent has their nit picks and their likes/dislikes. Find something within your budget that meets your safety requirements and don’t fret too much over color. Neutral works for any baby, girl or boy. Get what is safe and fits your family.
5. Sleeping arrangements – Are you going to co-sleep? Are you going to start right off with the crib? Maybe a bassinet? Often bassinets are passed down through friends or family. I have a bassinet that was passed through our military friends and was used for 8 out of the 10 babies born to our military family. It holds quite a bit of sentimental value. But there are many options for baby sleeping arrangements. There are now co-sleepers, I’ve never used one but I heard that they come in very handy and are nice to have. You can start right off in the crib, I’d suggest to have the crib in your room, you’ll be up more times at night than you can think. And if you don’t have a co-sleeper, bassinet, or crib you can pick up a moses basket, which is becoming more and more popular or even use a pack n play. That or go old style and use a laundry basket. The options are endless.

Those would be my top five things you need and have to think about when expecting a baby. Of course everyones list will be different but hopefully it will help someone out there that is expecting or planning to have a baby. Remember, garage sales, ebay, craigslist, newspaper ads should be a best friend. If you don’t want to go with the very basics and want to have a swing and bouncer, etc. search the used sale ads before paying full retail. You can buy many things for a fraction of the cost, including clothing.

I didn’t add in clothing to my top 5 because I believe that is a give in. Not to mention, clothing will more than likely be one thing many people buy for your baby. Everyone loves baby clothes. Of course, don’t not buy any clothes unless you really don’t want to. Buy according to the season and don’t buy just N and 0-3 months. Your baby will grow a lot faster than you think!

Next in this series…Baby Showers